It is all guts and hair

09 May, 2026

[Everything between May 1 and May 9, Friday]

Data

Movies and books: Zero

Coffee cups: 1

Oh look, an superscript ¹

I am energising myself with self loathing like I have never done before. The stateofnats webspace has moved around a bit, cos every weekend I have to write what "work" I did the week before. Any act of creation is to be noted. That will all go on Desk of Nats ²

But to begin with Desk Notes, I have decided I can post my journal pages on the internet. In some way this is vanity, at least what my lizard brain tells me. But I have not found another way to enjoy immortalising them. I don't want years of journal art becoming merged into a unified distant memory. It is going to be here at Nats Actually.

Also, this is now the longest period in years that I have not read a single book or even 5 pages in succession. YUCK.

AND

This week I went to Arossim beach and Ashwem beach. I like alliterations where I can find them.
Ru and I got pedicures.
Ate a thali at Alma (in Assagao).
Returned to Moksha (after years) for laphing with Swat.

Life guts ya

Quick summary: Nearly lifelong damage from gut bacteria called H.Pylori > Discovered last year after shock of hearing an ENT say "you have a cyst on your tonsils" led me to a second opinion who said my tonsils are just fine > Got on heavy antibiotics for a month > HPylori cleared to a safe level in the body > Damage continued > Need complete resetting of gut

Things I had to avoid:

• Caffeine: coffee, colas, matcha
• Sodas: diet coke, fresh lime sodas
• Cocoa: chocolates (bricked, hot or cold)
• Alcohol
• Dinners after 7:30PM
• Deep fried food and spicy food at night
• No milk
• Over eating at night

Things I had to do:

• Sleep on an incline
• Get on probiotic meds ³ and have natural probiotics
• Finish all meals before 8PM

I had the control month for nearly 30 days, after which on select occasions I included back the no-nos in my diet. Here are some observations:

• I had coffee last Sunday and had no red burnt throat next morning. I reckon as I have always (almost? nearly? please don't call me out) followed the 4pm last coffee rule, by the time I sleep, the caffeine is not affecting my sphincter muscles.
• Cocoa has been the best low dose caffeine intake that helped me get off coffee. I made a batch of frozen cubes with cocoa, monkfruit and oat milk. Then anytime I wanted coffee, I had that cube melting in a glass of oat milk.
• The absence of sodas was harder than absence of alcohol. On any evening social engagement, lemon soda or diet coke were my allies when I wanted to avoid alcohol (an sustained trend). Now I order lemon water in a tavern.
• The worst impact from any reintroductions was timing of dinner. On the nights I ate dinner late, even 9PM, I woke up the next morning with most pain in the throat.
• Obviously I am having lots of tea (with oat milk) and night tea (herbal).

Hair hurts ya

My biggest grievance with the internet was discovered a week ago when to my ridiculous surprise, I was told that endocrinology was linked to muscles in the body. Yes, I knew a version of this correlation, that strength training is essential, how it helps with longevity, so on and so forth. But only when a doctor looked at my blood reports while listening to hair issues I discussed, she mentioned that I clearly need strength training. A part of my brain screamed "another doctor telling me to lose weight".

I know the feeling. At 23 I was at a dentist who told me, as he was washing himself from dabbling in the interiors of my mouth, that I should do some yoga and lose weight. This was a pursuit I chose to ignore because I was already in the medically suitable range of weight per my age and gender. And it remained a sour memory, one of a doctor looking at my body and choosing to advice per what the beauty aesthetics demanded, and not my health. Yoga felt like a ghastly idea for years.

I should imagine that I had the foresight to look at myself in the mirror and commit to feeling wholly right with my body. But at 34 that is still lost to me. Except now I do have issues to fix. I cannot afford to neglect my health to piss off a dentist for having the audacity. I have consequences now.

When she told me to do muscle training, and I asked why, she gave me the headline to my deep dive later. Quality of our muscles directly impact our hormones. Not just weight or bone or nutrients, but muscles. And once I typed this on the google search bar, the internet threw back all the information that was waiting to be sought. It was obvious. It was known. It was so matter of factly that influencers make videos about it with citing papers and bringing forth studies.

And yet in all my time of searching hypothyroidism, strength training, skin breakouts due to hormones, not one search result I saw linking the two. Even in my supplements deep dive I never found a single link connecting the two so obviously with science behind it.

I should have just bought and read a book about it.

Culture consumption

After Devil Wears Prada 1 and 2 (I wrote more about that here) I am moving into David Lowery's works, until I learnt his upcoming Mother Mary will not be releasing in my city. How to not be loathsome at that, I know not.

Instead I have been hate watching The Rookie's latest season, and Younger's second season. It takes me three lunches to finish one episode sometimes. I have no idea what the cases are. I am ambivalent to the plot. I am still on team Deborra-Lee Furness.

Have spent a lot of time this week listening to Empire of the Sun. I jogged to Alive in the gym 4 times. Incidentally, I have been feeling alive. It could be all the sweltering heat draining hydration from my body, rummaging for salts, spreading suffering.

Or it is my excellent mental health.

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